For Some Unknown Reasons
by omuraisu3883
Summary: Life is so mysterious and unpredictable... (Warning; Alternate Universe)
1. Him

**Author's Note: **This story is originally posted on LU years ago and it's a cliche of the so call k-melodrama hahaha. So I'm warning you that maybe some of the plots are too cruel to the heroine (because usually in k-melodrama the heroine is the one who suffer the most). Oh and for your information, I've already completed 'The Interview' and 'Perfect Nightmare' so no more update or new chapter for those stories.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Boy Before Flowers and its characters. However, this fanfic and the story line is mine. Please do not re-upload or re-translated without my approval and the most important thing, don't ever plagiarising my story because it will make you a bad person and not cool.

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_'Why do we needs to lose the precious things in order to feel its preciousness? Now, the only thing that is left for me is regrets.' – Kim Min Jun (2PM)_

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(Ga Eul's POV)

**Chapter 1; Him**

Omma always told me that every good or bad deeds we did in this world, will surely be repay with the same suitable price we can hardly notice. For example if we donate a 100k Won, doesn't mean someone will give back the same value in the future. If we punch someone on his face maybe someday a bicycle will run into us and injured our legs. She said it was called a 'Karma Law'.

So in order to avoid any bad things to happen, I always practiced the positive attitude that made me worth to be call a good girl. I'm a good daughter, a good friend, a good student and a Good Samaritan (I help an old halmoni to cross the road okay!). But for some unknown reasons, the Karma Law was not applied to me when suddenly the man I love the most left me without showing any signed that he was about to leave me forever.

I was only ten when my classroom teacher called me out to tell me the news. She told me my father was involved in a freak accident and sadly he died on the spot. It was unbelievable at first, I just had breakfast with him in the morning and his smiling face still fresh in my mind and suddenly I was told that I won't meet him ever again. I asked omma, why? Why it happen to me because I never done any wrong in my ten years life. She simply said; everything happens for a reason.

Then it was just me and my omma. We have no problems in term of money because appa left us a lot of his insurance money and omma had a stable job as an editor for a magazine. We tried to live alone for a couple of years but it was too hard to stay strong in a place full with the memories of my beloved father. So we moved back to omma's hometown and stayed with my grandparents. I realised omma was happy again to be in a placed well known to her with familiar faces of her friends and neighbours. As long as omma happy, I'm happy too.

The first thing she did after we arrived there was bringing me to her best friend's house. Her name was Kim In Hee and she asked me to call her omoni. She's so pretty (like my mother of course) and so nice to me because she always wanted a daughter like me. She has two sons but she said her ungrateful sons were seldom at home because they loved to hang out with their friends rather with their mother. It so true because after the sixth time I went to her house, I still have no luck to see the brothers.

Her husband, So Hyun Sub was a doctor and he opened a small clinic in our area. He was not talkative like her but somehow I like him a lot because he reminded me of my own father especially when he gave me his genuine smile. Kim-omoni always complaint (in a proud way) that she thought she can be rich if she married a doctor but they remained 'poor' because her husband had a strong tendency to feel sympathy at anybody so he always gave free treatments and free medications to his patients.

It was in the seventh visit when I finally met one of the brothers. It was a very awkward first meeting because omma and I were actually caught him kissing his girlfriend at their garden. Blamed it to omma of course because she lost the sensed of shyness in term of her best friend (what yours is mine and what mine is yours rule) and neglected the needs to ring their doorbell before entering their unlock gates.

He was shocked to see us and even more shocked when he focused his eyes on me. I don't know how to react but omma was fast to grab my hand and dragged me into the house. I don't know how omma can pretend she never caught the scene because I felt my face was blushing every time I saw him and he also as red as tomato when he saw me.

"I guess you guys already met my youngest cutie little puppy muppeeeeey?" Kim-omoni started the conversation at the dining table and playfully pressed on the word 'muppey' which I never heard before.

"Please, not again omma! I'm fifteen for heaven sake!" Now I knew why her sons always ran away from her. She still treated them like a little kid.

"Guess he's not a little puppy anymore eh?" Oh no, why omma rubbing the salt at the opened cut? I saw his face redden after being teased by omma and automatically the earlier scene playing again in my head and I can't help to smirk at him. Poor guy.

"Jeongie, meet my best friend Min Soo Ri and this is her daughter Chu Ga Eul." Kim-omoni briefly introduced us to him and he nodded for acknowledgement. "Ga Eul will turn fourteen next year so she will study at your school." She continued the introduction and I knew he was surprised to know that we will be studying at the same school.

"Annyeong haseyo Jeongie-oppa." I tried to be polite and greeted him.

He cleared his throat first and suddenly turned into a serious mode. "Annyeong and don't call me Jeongie if you want to call me oppa. My name is So Yi Jeong and just called me oppa without Jeongie."

"So I call you Jeongie then. Just Jeongie without oppa." I playfully teased him to lighten the mood.

"NO! Don't you dare or I'll kill you!" He shrieked his puberty-cracking-voice and startled everyone.

"Okay. Oppa." I quickly nodded my head and felt scared at his outburst. Jezz, why can't he handle my joke?

That day was our first meeting and for some unknown reasons, after the seventh visit, Yi Jeong never missed to stay at his house every time we came to visit his family. We never talked because I was too afraid to start a conversation with him. Then at the ninth visit, I finally met the eldest, Il Hyun who was seven years older than me. He was a medical student and wanted to become a doctor like his father. No wonder he seldom at home because he rented a room near his university.

So when I saw Yi Jeong leaning lazily at my gate on my first day in junior high school, I was so surprised that he even offered to walk me to his school.

"Oppa, I already know how to go to your school. You don't need to fetch me from my house."

"Omma asked me to watch you so I just followed her order. By the way I already broke up with my girlfriend."

"Huh? You don't need to tell me. I don't care about your private life."

"You need to know and I'm sure you will hear many gossips about me in school and don't trust it. Especially about me being a Casanova."

"Judging by our first meeting, it's hard to believe you are not a playboy oppa."

"JUST BECAUSE I'M HANDSOME, IT DOESN'T MEAN I NEED TO BE A PLAYBOY! IT'S NOT MY FAULT THAT ALL THE GIRLS LOVES ME AND WANTED TO BE MY GIRLFRIEND! AND FOR YOUR INFORMATION, I KISSED THAT GIRL BECAUSE I WANTED TO EXPERIENCE THE TASTE OF KISSING SOMEBODY LIPS! ALL MY FRIENDS ALREADY DONE THE DEED SO NATURALLY I WANTED TO TRY TOO! I NEVER LOVE HER AND IT GROSS TO EXCHANGE SALIVA WITH SOMEBODY YOU DON'T LOVE AND IT WAS MY FIRST KISS AND I WON'T DO IT AGAIN UNTIL I FIND THE RIGHT GIRL!"

"Okay. Okay I understand. Don't need to yell at me because I'm not deaf."

I thought that that was the only day I had to go to school with him. But no, he never failed to show up at my doorstep to wait for me. I think if he didn't need to attend his basketball practice after school, he might wait for me to send me home too.

I became famous at my new school because the most sought after guy was seen coming to school with me every morning. Naturally I was mistaken to be his new girl and as much as I denied it, no one believed me because the guy himself never denied the rumour.

I don't know about my feelings for him. I'm too young to know the meaning of love. Was it the same as the love to my omma and appa? Yes he's drop dead handsome unlike the plain me, but I never felt something special for him and I'm sure he felt the same. Maybe he more liked my own brother because he always protected me and cared for me. There's one time when I sprain my ankle while walking to the canteen, he scolded me for being clumsy but he escaped his routine practice and carried me home on his back.

He loves to give orders to me and he won't accept 'no' as the answer so 'okay' became the favourite word from me to him. "Ga Eul, come to see me practice today", "Ga Eul, come to see my match tomorrow", "Ga Eul, be my date for the junior prom", "Ga Eul, be my date for senior prom", "Ga Eul, lets go jogging together", "Ga Eul this" and "Ga Eul that."

And I never say no for the whole three years we've been together, I mean as a friend, of course.


	2. Love

**Chapter 2; Love**

After Yi Jeong finished high school he immediately chose to enlist himself in the military service for two years before entering the university. He told me to follow his parents every time they visit him at the camp and as always, I said 'okay'.

His parents invited me and omma to his farewell dinner at their house before sending him to the camp the next day. Il hyun brought his girlfriend and the dinner went smooth until Yi Jeong suddenly stood up from his chair. I thought he was going to deliver his farewell speech and never saw what about to come from his lips.

"Omoni!" he looked straight at my mother. "Allow me to marry your daughter!" and I felt the water melon juice I'm drinking came running out through my nose.

"What?" Everyone exclaimed the same word.

"Have you asked my Ga Eul?" Omma was asking the most important question which obviously his sudden proposal was a shock to me too.

"She won't say no to me. Right Ga Eul?" He confidently said and looked at me to hear my answer.

It turned out that not only his eyes were focused on me; everyone looked at me to hear my answer. I felt the pressure from all eyes and my brain failed to work and for some unknown reasons the only word I can think of was "Okay" and I said it out loud.

"See omoni, now all I need is your permission."

"But you both are too young and you have the bright future waiting for you guys." His father interjected with a reasonable reason.

"I don't want to marry her now. We'll get marry after we both finished our study."

"You're just afraid that someone will snatch her from you while you're serving in the army right?" Il Hyun mockingly teased his brother and Yi Jeong fake a cough to hide his embarrassment.

In the end, the intended farewell party transformed to a small engagement party. My mother happily gave her blessing to us and same with his parents especially his mother who can finally have me as her own daughter.

I still felt numb at what happen at the night before while standing with his parents in front of the camp the next morning. He hugged both his parents and then he awkwardly hugged me for just a brief second. He waved goodbye at us before turning his back and walked to the gates. Suddenly he stopped halfway and standing there for a while before he dropped his backpack and turning to run to me.

It happens so fast and I don't realise how his lips crushing into mine. His lips were so soft and he gently nibbling my lower lips. One of his hand frame my jaw and the other rested on my waist to pulled me closer to him but I just stand still and slowly closed my eyes to savour the feeling. It was my first kiss and for some unknown reasons, it felt so right.

He pulled from the kiss first and retrieved something from his trousers' pocket. He grabbed my left hand and slides a ring on my ring finger. I looked at the ring; it was a simple silver band ring without any gemstone on it.

"It's the only ring I can afford to buy." He scratched the back of his almost baldhead while looking sheepishly at me. "Don't take off the ring okay."

"Okay." I nodded my head as my promised to him.

He pulled me back and wrapped his arms around my body tightly. "God I'm so in love with you Ga Eul." I heard him whispered those words before he disentangled himself and quickly running to grab his bag and then he disappeared inside the camp. I don't know for how long I'm standing there in shock after hearing his confession until his mother grabbed my hand and dragged me towards their car. I just realised all the time his parents were witnessing our intimate moment and it made me blushed.

There was a saying said that we only realised the importance of someone only after losing him. I just realised it without Yi Jeong by my side. Sometimes I saw his mirage leaning at my gate waiting for me to go to school together. I saw him smiling at me every time I closed my eyes and I heard his smooth voice calling my name over and over again like a magic spell. I lost my appetite because all the foods were tasteless even when omma cooked my favourite dishes.

I tried to adapt with the new environment without him. I kept telling myself that two agonising years would pass by without I noticed. I did see him for a few times when I followed his parents to visit him and when he came home for break but it's not enough. Every time I had to send him back to the camp, the pain in my heart became more chronic than before. As much as I didn't want to admit, I had to say that I already falling for him because love was the only reasonable reason for my sickness other than crazy.

In the end, the two years finally over and I'm not a high school student anymore. We planned to study at the same university but who am I kidding, since childhood my life never goes according to plan. Yi Jeong was offered to study in Italy under full scholarship and he will study architecture for four years. Well nobody can deny his talented hands, just give him a pencil and paper and he can sketch anything within a minute. And his most favourite object to sketch was me.

He asked me to say 'don't go' and the selfish part in me wanted to say 'okay' but this time I can't agree with him. With a fake smile I told him to grab this lifetime opportunity. He didn't need to worry because I promised to wait for him like I waited while he served in the army.

Then once again I found myself standing with his parents at the airport to send him away. Like always, he hugged his parents first before he hugged me. This time the embraced stayed a little bit longer until we heard the announcement calling for his flight. I pulled myself from him and signalling him to go. He slowly walked to the boarding gate and suddenly he stopped halfway.

I can read what his next move so before he turned his body I already sprinted to him. It happen simultaneously, the moment he turned his body I already reached him and pulled his face to kiss him. I can tell he was shocked at first but immediately recovered as he embraced my body closer to him. We kissed until we were out of breath and the kiss was not as innocent as the first time it happens.

He rested his forehead on mine and we breathe heavily to catch the air. "I loved you so much oppa." I finally confessed my feeling for the first time to him.

"I love you more Ga Eul-ah."

"Don't play with the European girl okay."

"I'm not a playboy! I always love you only!"

Yeah that's right; he would never accept my joke about him being a Casanova.

And once again I'm standing there for a while even after he disappeared inside the boarding gate and again his mother had to grab my hand and dragged me out from the airport.

This time, I won't see him for four years because Yi Jeong wanted to save money for our wedding and decided not to waste the money on airplane ticket. When his father offered his money to pay the ticket so he can come back once a year, he asked his father to bank in the money into his account but he never came home. His father felt cheated (its funny how he bank in the money every year and never learn his lesson) and luckily every time it happens, I managed to calm him. Yi Jeong told me he had many part time jobs there, as a waiter, a bellboy, a cleaner and a valet and he also sell his drawing at the night market to save more money.

We only chat through email which obviously free and sometime when I stayed up late I manage to skyping for a few hours with him.

I busied myself on my study and prepared myself to become a teacher. I managed to finish my study earlier than Yi Jeong because my course was only in three years. Every day I prayed for tomorrow to comes earlier so that the time will flies fast and he will be home for good and be with me again for the rest of my life.


	3. Marriage

**Chapter 3; Marriage **

One day, while I taught math in front of my teenage students, I heard a knock on the front door and all eyes were focus to it. When the person opened the door, the female students gasped at the handsome young man who was walking to me while holding a bouquet of blended white roses and red roses, the white roses at the centre while surrounding by the red roses. I was speechless by his sudden appearance and those four long years of his absence really changed him a lot. He got taller because I had to raise my head more to see his face, his body got broader because I felt smaller and smaller as he neared me, his face especially his jaws got wider and there was an evidence of adulthood at his shaved facial stubble. But one thing remained the same; the way he's looking at me with adoring eyes like I'm the most beautiful girl he ever see.

"Annyeong." He greeted me.

"Op..pa!" I stuttered as I'm still shocked to see him.

"Beautiful roses for my beautiful fiancée." He gave me the roses and I accepted it with a flustered face after hearing his compliment. "Guys and beautiful ladies" he looked at my students "can I borrow your teacher for a while?" and of coursed my students gave the permission open heartedly (because they don't need to learn the boring math for a while) and cheering out loud to tease me.

He grabbed my hand and brought me outside the classroom. He told me that he already asked his parents to book a wedding hall, bought me a wedding dress and gave me a month to invite all my friends and relatives to attend our wedding on the next month. My mouth was hanging opened while hearing all the detail from him because it happens so fast. As I'm looking at him, I felt a sudden spasm constricted my heart and just then I realised how much I missed him terribly.

I ignored his nonstop babbling as I snaked my arms around his body and pulled him into a tight embraced. My action left him speechless but he let me buried my face on his chest as I let out all my tears, the tears that I hold for four years while I'm missing him. He hugged me back after a while and rested his chin on top of my head. He caressed my back to sooth me and it felt so good being in his arms. I cried for another minute and as my tears started to slow down, I rubbed my face around his chest to wipe my tears and I realised that his chest was not as soft as I remember. It was hard and my hand automatically wondering from his chest to his abs and I gasped at the feel of uneven hard surface under his shirt.

"Like what you touch Ga Eul-ah?" I immediately retrieved my hand and my face flushed at his teasing. He lowered his lips and whispered huskily at my ear "Just wait for a month and all this will be yours sweetie."

My whole body shivered after hearing his teasing. I never thought about the seriousness of marriage. Called me conservative and I would shamelessly admit that I am.

With pouted lips, I hit his chest gently to cover my embarrassment and he immediately grabbed my hands to stop my attack. He just laughs at me while caressing my hands and I realised the roughness of his palms. I looked at his hands and saw his veins showed at his arms.

"Oppa, your palms are rough." I looked worriedly at him but he just shrugged his shoulders. "It must be hard for you oppa, living alone there and had to do a lot of works." Slowly I brought his hands to my lips and kissed it. "But don't worry; I love these rough hands so much because I love you more than the rough lines of your palms."

He was please at my words and put his forehead at mine. Then he closed his eyes and whispered; "Ga Eul, I wanted to kiss you very badly now. But I know you won't let me because you and I know that a lot of curious eyes are peeking at us from your classroom."

"Just wait for a month and I'll be yours dear."

True to our words, after waiting one month more, I finally be his and he finally be mine. His father sponsored our honeymoon to Jeju Island because technically he still unemployed. We took a flight to Jeju right after the wedding and immediately check in to the hotel and the rest was history. We were both virgin and never had any experience to do it but for some unknown reason, our bodies reacted on its own and we became one and perfectly fit with each other.

That morning, I groggily rubbed my eyes as I felt rays of sunshine shining through my close eyelids. As soon as I opened my eyes, I saw Yi Jeong's handsome face smiling at me. His hand supporting his head while he lying sideway and looking at me (I don't know for how long he stared at me.) "Good morning chagi." He greeted me and planted a soft kiss on my lips.

"Good morning oppa." I greeted him back but he pouted his lips. "Is there something wrong oppa?"

"I'm not your oppa anymore!" I chuckled at his outburst. "Call me yobo!"

"Okay, okay yobo."

"You are so beautiful chagiya." He pinched my nose and I scrunch up my face at his touch.

"Yobo, have you ever check your eyes."

"Why?"

"Because I think I'm not that beautiful actually. I mean I did have suitors but I'm not a drop dead gorgeous."

"Wait, you have suitors. Plural suitor with asssssss? How many? Why I never know about this?" He rose himself to sit and looked straight into my eyes demanding for an answer.

"Oh just forget about it. I can't remember how many. Let bygone be bygone."

"You can't remember because it was too many?" I can see his black eyes turning into green and his face was red in anger.

"Yobo, I'm sure you have more secret admirers than me. Plus who knows what happen in Italy." I tried to change the subject by rebound it back to him but it only made him more furious with me.

"Nothing happen in Italy and I never cared about any secret admirer! You never know what I've been through in there; you never know the pressure of being the only twenty four years old male virgin there and you never know how it feels being watched by female predators that are ready to eat you alive!" He forcefully laid his body on the bed and turning his back at me. I knew he was sulking again.

Ah, I forgot. He was really sensitive if I accused him as a womaniser. What a petty guy. I was just joking and never meant it to be serious. I don't want to fight on our second day of being husband and wife.

"Sorry yobo." I hugged him from behind and our naked bodies rubbing with each other. I gently planted soft kisses from his shoulder to his neck. "Sorry." I continue the kisses at his back while my hand roaming from his chest to his abs.

His body shuddered at my touch and he moan; "You're killing me Ga Eul-ah."

"Is that mean I'm forgiven now?"

"Only with one condition." He disentangled my hand from his body and in second I was pinned down under him and he started to kiss me roughly.

That's how we spent our honeymoon, mostly on bed. We only went out from the room to take pictures in the island so we can show it to our family when we got back.

After our honeymoon, Yi Jeong got a job with a construction company as they were impressed by Yi Jeong educational background. Yi Jeong agreed to live with my mother because my grandparents had passed away and I don't want to leave my mother alone.

Two years after we got married, we were blessed with a beautiful daughter and we named her So Ye Eun. Ye Eun was four when she got a little brother So Yul Jin and three years later she got another brother So Tae Goon. I'm happy that my mother live with me because she help me a lot to raised my children. I stopped teaching after I delivered my youngest kid to give my whole attention to my family. So three kids in ten years, a loving husband and a perfect family, what more can I asked?

That's right, my life was so perfect. I think karma already paid all the good deeds that I've done before. But, there's always a 'but' in a perfect story because to be truth, the word perfection was never exist in this world. For some unknown reasons, my happy life started to shake little by little and no matter how hard we tried to stable it, no one can fight with the course of fate that was destined to happen…


	4. Test

**Chapter 4; Test**

That year was our tenth anniversary and of course I planned to celebrate it in the most romantic ways. Ten years together and still strong was something to be proud of and worth to celebrate gloriously. I planned to have a candle light dinner with Yi Jeong alone and I planned to send my kids to their grandparent's house. My mother went to her cousin's house to visit her sick aunt which was not too bad and not required me to go.

I already bought all the ingredients for my special dinner but a day before our anniversary, I double check the ingredients and to my horror, my brilliant little girl had found the chocolate bars that I bought to make Yi Jeong's favourite chocolate cake. She finished all the bars with her brothers and of course, how can I make a chocolate cake without a chocolate?

So I waited for Yi Jeong to come home after work and asked him to watch our kids because I wanted to race to the store to buy the chocolate. He playfully asked me why I can't wait to go to the store tomorrow and I scolded him not to ask too much.

My eighteen-months-old youngest son wanted to follow me but I thought if I bring him, he will only slow down my movement. So even when he cried his lungs out, even when he rolled his body on the carpet, even when he jiggled the gate in an attempts to open it and even when he screams "OMMA" over and over again, I willed myself to stay strong to leave him.

I hurriedly walked to the nearest store which about a couple blocks away and immediately bought the chocolate bars. Suddenly I remembered about my youngest kid who I believed still crying for me (not that he hated his father but he was overly clingy to me) and grabbed some candies for him to persuade him to forgive me for leaving him, then I remembered about my second kid who would be jealous if I only bought something for his little brother so I grabbed his favourite choco-pie, then again I remembered about my only daughter who also would sulking all day if I don't have anything for her so I grabbed a cute pink hair band with a butterfly on it so she can bragged to her friends in school. I paid the cashier and hurriedly walked back to my house.

When I neared the last intersection to my house, I saw the green light of pedestrian crossing was blinking so I raced towards the empty road to cross it without even looking at my left or my right. Then it hit me. Something so fast (a speeding car maybe) collided with my body so hard that I flung with my shopping bag and I crashed on the hard asphalt concrete and rolling a few times until I stopped by the gravity.

I can't move but my body trembling with its own. I can't scream although I'm in a great pain. I felt hot red liquid running through my head. I felt the same liquid coming from my nose and when I cough, the same liquid squirting from my mouth. I was so scared. Was it my time already? I had small kids and they need me! My husband needs me! I can't go yet. I don't want to go! Please God, give me more times! Was this how appa felt when he's about to leave me and omma? Was appa also begging for his life too?

I started to feel the difficulty to breathe. My eye lids felt heavy and I tried so hard to stay awake but slowly I succumbed to the tiredness and pain until I lost my consciousness.

The first thing I saw when I opened my eyes again was Yi Jeong's weary black eyes staring hopefully to mine. He looks skinny and unattended with a messy hair and unshaved stubble. "Annyeong sleeping beauty." Greeted him with a tired smile. "I kissed you every day but I guess the cursed is too strong because the magic only works today."

I smiled back at him and tried to speak but I felt like I have thorns in my throat and it made me coughing a few times. Yi Jeong immediately took a glass of water and spoon it to my mouth and I drank the whole glass because it soothed my dried throat. He put the empty glass on the bedside table and sat beside me on my bed and carefully holds my bandage hand. I cleared my throat and continued to speak; "I see Prince Yi Jeong's charm didn't work on me."

"Yes, sleeping beauty chose to ignore me for three months."

"THREE MONTHS?" I asked in disbelieved.

"Yes, I was tortured for three months. Doctor said it was good for you to heal your wound and heal your broken bones but it was bad for my health."

"What happen? I knew I was hit by something before I lost my consciousness."

"A drunk driver hit you. I heard the ambulance from our house but I never thought it was you. I got a called from the hospital and immediately rushed here with our kids. They said you…you were coding on the operation table but they managed to revive you back. But they had to remove one of your kidney, your spleen and half of your liver because they were badly damage. They had to implant artificial knee on your left leg because the damage was untreatable. Your right wrist was also badly damage but they manage to rearrange back the crush bones so it can grow back naturally. You had a blood clot on your brain but they manage to remove it too."

"Wow!" I can't believe I'm still alive. I guess God heard my pray.

"Yes wow! And you were coding again after the surgery right in front of me." He paused for a while and took some time to stare at my face. Slowly he trailed his finger from my forehead to my nose and ended it at my lips. "I thought I will lose you. I saw you gone for 27 seconds and I think my heart stop too. Please don't do it again. I repeat, do not do it again okay?"

"Okay." I nodded at him. "By the way" I scan the whole room that looks like a five stars hotel; "where am I? Is it a VIP room? Are we afforded to pay for my treatment?"

Yi Jeong just chuckled at my continuous questions. "For all the things that you had to worry, you asking me whether I'm afford or not. It's so like Chu Ga Eul." I pouted my lips and he pinched my nose and continue; "Don't worry, appa owns this hospital."

"WHAT? I thought he only had a small clinic."

"Apparently he cheated his family too because me and omma only know that he had this hospital on the day you were admitted here. Appa is also one of the best heart surgeons in this country. Hyung knows earlier because one of his lecturers knew appa and told him about it but appa asked him to keep it secret from me and omma. No wonder he never goes bankrupt by running his free clinic."

"So I married with a rich man's son." I playfully winked at him. "How's your mother accept the news? She's always complaint about her poor life."

"Shocked of course but she more worried about you. You know how much she loves you, I think more than she loves me. She and your mother cried all the time but appa promised them to give you the best treatment he can offer. When I think again, appa never fail to give us whatever we wanted. It's omma who always told me and hyung not to burden appa and told us to work to get what we wanted. She made us believed that appa is poor. If I knew I have a rich father, I will asked him to pay for our wedding. I don't need to work so hard in Italy and I will ask him to sponsor our honeymoon outside Korea."

"Try to look in the positive way why he hidden this fact. Look at you and your brother, both of you grew up to be a fine men and not some rich brat who go clubbing and just wasted their parent's money and lazy to work because they'll get what they wanted easily."

.

It took me another month to discharge from the hospital. I needed to do physiotherapy to learn to walk again, to train my hands to function again and I even had to learn to write again. Yi Jeong always by my side during the therapy and I pitied him because he had to juggled between me, our kids and his work. My mother and Yi Jeong's parents also came to visit me regularly but I can't see my kids because they were not allowed to visit me. That's why I can't wait to go home to see them because I missed them terribly.

When I went home Yul Jin and Tae Goon immediately jump on me and they were so happy to see me. I saw a drastic changed in Tae Goon. His chubby cheeks were gone and his ripple-fat hands and legs were gone too. When I carried him, he was lighter than four month ago. Toddlers should be growing in times but Tae Goon was shrinking. I glared at Yi Jeong with questioning eyes and he seemed to understand my silent question and answered; "Tae Goon-ie can't live without you. He's crying for you nonstop. He didn't want to eat and sleep. Since he was born, you are always with him and I tried everything to please him but it was useless. Only after a month he started to eat again without being force by me."

I saw not much different in Yul Jin because I knew he was my most independent kid, one of the advantages of being in the middle. He was more tolerable, the most patient one with not much words to say. Sometimes I pitied him because Ye Eun was close with Yi Jeong and Tae Goon was always with me and he seemed don't know how to fit in between. But we never left him alone. Yi Jeong and I loves him the same and loves to pamper him. To be honest, Yul Jin was my favourite, I know I shouldn't 'rank' my own kids but I can't help it.

Yi Jeong told me he and Ye Eun helps him a lot to watch his little brother.

Speaking about Ye Eun, I scan around the living room and I didn't see her. When I asked Yi Jeong, his face changed a little and let a long sighed. "Ye Eun blame herself for your accident. If only she didn't take that damn chocolate bars, you won't go out and you won't….well I tried so many time to tell her that it was not her fault but she…..I guess she needs to hear from your lips that you never blame her."

Never in a split second I'm blaming her for the accident happens to me. When I went into her room, I saw her lying on her bed and covering her whole body with blanket.

"Ye Eun-ah" I softly called her name but she chose to pretend to sleep; "don't you miss me? Omma miss you so much." I lay beside her and wrapped my arms around her small body. "Thank you so much for helping appa and halmoni to watch your brothers, I don't know how can I survive without you."

I heard a faint sobbed coming from the blanket. "Sorry omma. I should listen to you not to take something that is not mine. You said something bad will happen to me if I broke the law, but why you're the one who suffered because of my action?"

"I can't answer it baby. Your halmoni said that everything happen for a reason. I was destined to hurt that day by fate, not because of you. Anything can lead me to that street. So I forgive you for taking the chocolate but I don't need to forgive you for the accident I had because it was not your fault."

Ye Eun slowly pulled her blanket and revealing her sad face. Her face was wet with tears and her puffy eyes showed she had been crying for a long time. She hugged me back with her small arms and rubbed her wet face at my chest. "I'm so glad you're still alive omma." She mumbled in my chest.

After that my family became normal again but not the same, I'm not the same anymore. The damage had been done to me and the effect permanently changed my body. I relied on medication for the rest of my life and I had to control my diet because I lost a few of my internal organs. Yi Jeong appointed himself as my strict dietician and he meticulously monitored every single food I consumed.

I can't do heavy works too because I'm not as strong as before. My bones pained at night and during winter. Sometimes I can't sleep because the pain was too much and Yi Jeong would try his best to lessen my pain by massaging the pain area with hot balm. But one adjustment I hated the most was I cannot tend my sick children anymore. My immune system was so low that make YI Jeong practically caged me inside the house and only let me out if I wore proper PPE (personal protective equipment) which I found ridiculous. If anyone in my house fall sick, he or she will get a restraining order and cannot go near me. I did break the rules once because Tae Goon got a high fever and he cried nonstop even though my mother tried her best to stop his cry and Yi Jeong was away for work. Of course I can't bear to listen as my heart hurt when I saw him crying for me. So I did what every mother would do and hugged him until he fell asleep in my arms. That night I was rushed to the hospital because my fever got worsens and I was warded for two days.

I became a liability for my family. I pitied Yi Jeong and my mother because they not only had to rush me to the hospital back and forth but they also had to sacrifice most of their time to juggled between me and my small children. After some times, with the help of medication that I never fail to take, my immune system started to improve and I seldom fall sick like before.

Just when I thought that the test was over, another one is coming closer; more dangerous, more painful and more ferocious.


	5. Illness

**Author's note: **I'm so sorry for not updating this story. I got a cold and it lasted for more than a week. I'm healthy now but I'll be missing again for another week because I'll go for a backpacking trip with my friends.

* * *

**Chapter 5; Illness**

Seven years after the accident, after a few months I celebrated my 39th birthday, I started to feel nausea and vomiting every morning. I lost my appetite and my head hurt so much. Yi Jeong was so happy when I told him about my sickness and straightaway assumed that he will be a father in his forties. I asked him not to tell our family because truthfully, I doubted that I'm pregnant because I never missed my period. I don't have a heart to tell him that I sensed something wrong with my body and decided to see the doctor with him.

All the time Yi Jeong kept talking about our 'unborn baby', very excitedly and he hoped he got another girl this time. I fake a smile but my heart was beating so wildly because I'm afraid about the result of my medical check-ups.

The moment I saw the doctor's straight face, I knew what he about to tell us was not what Yi Jeong had hoped to be.

"Mr So, your wife…"

"When is the due?" Yi Jeong interrupted the doctor eagerly.

"Excuse me?" He asked Yi Jeong what he means.

"She's pregnant right? How many weeks now?"

"I'm sorry Mr So but she's not pregnant. Our preliminary test and base on all the symptoms showed by your wife, I concluded that she might have tumour in her brain. But we need to do more check-ups to know about the stage of her cancer."

The room fell into eerie silent after the doctor finished talking. I looked at my side and saw Yi Jeong lowered his face with his eyes close, clenching his jaws and balled his fists as tight as possible until his hands trembling because of the force. Poor Yi Jeong, I shouldn't let him fly so high just to watch him crashed on the ground and shattered all his hope into million pieces.

I caressed his fist gently until he relaxed and he took a deep breath before he opened his moist eyes and grabbed my hand but his eyes stayed at our intertwine hands. Funny, I'm the one who will face death and should be consoled but I think I'm stronger than the person next to me, maybe because this was not my first time facing the 'death'.

"I can be treated right?" I asked the doctor with my eyes still focused on Yi Jeong.

"I will forward your case to our best oncologist. I believe you know him very well because he's your own brother Mr So, Dr So Il Hyun."

After undergo so many test, Il Hyun told us that my cancer was still in early stage and can be treated. He suggested for radiotherapy along with chemotherapy to kill the cancerous cells. Although surgery would be the fastest way to eliminate the tumour, he said brain surgery was a very risky procedure for my case because the tumour was deep inside my brain.

Most of the time I spent in the hospital to receive the treatment and I had to burden Yi Jeong and my mother again to watch my children. Luckily they were not a little kid anymore and they already getting used to see me hospitalised.

"How are you doing sweetheart?" Yi Jeong asked me after I done one of the treatment. He sat next to my bed and caressed my hand gently.

"Fine." Was my only answer because I'm too tired to speak. The treatment had drained away all my strength because I lost my appetite and if I force myself to eat, I will vomit it all out. I lost my hair too and I think I look like an ugly corpse.

"Take a sleep okay and rest well, I'm not going anywhere." This was what Yi Jeong did every day since I received my treatment. After work, he will go back to our house to see our children and after they asleep, he will rush to the hospital to keep me company. Early in the morning he will go back to our house to prepare Tae Goon for school because he's still young to get ready by himself. Luckily my fifteen years old Ye Eun was old enough to help her grandmother to prepare a meal for them and my eleven years old Yul Jin was independent enough to organise himself. Then Yi Jeong will send them to school before he went to work and the cycle continued.

"Yobo, you don't need to come here every day. You'll only exhaust yourself. The nurses are always here if I need some help."

"It's not like I can sleep without you in our house. So, you don't need to worry about me." He gave his dazzling smile to comfort me. He's still handsome although a few line of wrinkles already appeared on his face.

I smile back at him and said "Try to sleep without me, who knows…"

"DON'T!" He abruptly interrupted my words and gone his smiling face and replaced it with a fierce expression. "Don't ask me to adapt without you." He stood up and walked to the window and stared at the dark sky outside.

"Yobo." I called him but he didn't response. "Yobo." I called again but still he ignored me. "Jeong-ah." I called his name softly as I knew it was one of his weaknesses and true to my words, he turned his body to face me. I moved my body a little to make a space enough for another person to share the bed with me. I tapped my hand at the empty space and he understood. He climbed into my bed and wrapped his hands around my skinny body gently as if he was afraid he'll hurt me. I rested my head on his shoulder and he kissed my temple softly.

"I'm sorry Jeong-ah." I felt my eyes started to moist with tears. "I'm sorry for everything. I'm sorry for not able to be a good wife to you. I'm sorry for being a bad mother to your children. I'm sorry that you had to watch my old mother for me and I'm sorry because you had to carry the burden by yourself and you can't share it with me." I tried to muffle my cry but failed miserably and caused Yi Jeong's shirt to wet with my tears.

"Shussh" he brought me closer to him. He patted my back gently and rubbed his nose on my head "I don't care as long as I can hear you breathing. Loving you is tiring and it hurts so much…but it's not something I can stop. I can't stop loving you. I can't stop my foot to run back to you. Seeing you in pain made me hurt too. I'm cursed from the first time I met you. You bewitched me body and soul and I love you, most ardently."

I giggled at his last statement especially at his failed-English-accent. "Hmm where did I hear it before?" He laughed with me and just like that all the tension disappeared.

It took me approximately seven months to clear all the cancerous cells. Sometimes I can go home after treatment but most of the time I had to stay at the hospital because my immune system was very low. When Il Hyun declared our 'victory', Yi Jeong was the happiest person in the room and he even twirled me around until he was out of breath and put me back on my feet.

I felt healthy again and Il Hyun makes sure that I never missed my regular medical check-ups every six month to detect any recurrence. He told me and Yi Jeong to watch my diet and never missed to take my medication.

I diligently followed all his instruction in hoped that my mother won't have any opportunity to bury me six feet under. I even managed to celebrate my 20th anniversary with Yi Jeong and can't wait to celebrate our 30th anniversary in the future but for some unknown reason, 'death' never leaves my side and I don't know why 'death' seemed to be attached to me.

On the day of Ye Eun's graduation ceremony, the day I should see my eldest children received her scroll in engineering, the day she should smugly held her face up high after four years of struggling, without a warning I collapsed while helping her wearing her graduation gown in her bedroom.

.

.

_End of Gaeul's POV_


	6. Death (part I)

_Yi Jeong's POV_

Part I

It happens so fast. I'm helping the boys with their suits when I heard Ye Eun's screaming for me from her room. We raced as fast as we can and when we reached her room, I saw her holding unconscious Ga Eul. Ye Eun tried to shake her body in an attempt to wake her up but Ga Eul remain flaccid. We quickly brought her to the emergency room and Il Hyun ordered them to run a blood test and MRI scanning.

After some time, Il Hyun called me to his room while my children and Ga Eul's mother stayed with her. When I walked into his room, I saw my father sitting on Il Hyun's chair while analysing the reports in front of him. This room used to be his room, the director's room, but now it's belong to Il Hyun when my father decided to retire. Under Il Hyun care, this hospital evolved to be one of the best hospitals in this country. Il Hyun vision was different with my father. He is more passionate with his work, he is a very ambitious man and he supports his doctors to do clinical trial or perform new procedures to treat their patients. There were times when patients died because of the unapproved procedure but he said that someone needed to be sacrifice for a better treatment in the future and the patients know it too when they signed the agreement to be a 'subject'.

We took a sit side by side in front of our father and Il Hyun started the conversation while facing me. "Jeong-ah, I'm sorry to tell you that Ga Eul's cancer reappeared again at the same place."

I'm kind of shocked when heard his diagnosis. "How…how come? She just did the medical check-ups four months ago and you said she's clear."

"I don't know when it appeared but I confirm she is clear four months ago. Apparently the cancerous cells replicating very fast and I'm afraid that some of it already metastasis to her bone."

I nodded in understanding. Ever since Ga Eul had her first cancer, I've been reading a lot about her illness and I knew it was common for the cancer to reappear again. "Then when can we start her treatment?" I looked at Il Hyun and he was fidgeted on his chair.

"There's a problem." He slowly said.

"What problem?"

"You have to remember, Ga Eul is not normal in the 'inside'. She doesn't have a spleen, her liver was not fully growth and she only depends on one kidney. Since the accident 15 years ago, she never missed to take medications and antibiotics to cover the functions of her lost organs and then she had chemotherapy. All these drugs already strain her only kidney and if we continue to infuse more drugs to her system, I'm afraid it can potentially cause an irreversible kidney damage which can kill her too."

"I can give my kidney." I immediately said without thinking.

"It's not that simple Jeong-ah. Like I said, her cancerous cells are replicating so fast within a few months and it already spread to her bone." Il Hyun took a glanced at our father before he continued "Checkmate is the simplest word to describe her condition now and I think she can only hold it for another three months."

"What the hell are you talking about hyung?" I stood up abruptly and the screeching sound from my chair echoed in the room. I felt my blood came rushing to my head while I tried to suppress my anger. I knew what he means and the 'time' that he given to her escalated my anger.

"No matter what step we take, the end result will be the same." Il Hyun had to look up to talk to me and he chose the softest voice to explain to me. "So instead of making her facing more painful treatment, which might or might not extend her life a few months more, which also can further damaging her kidney, I suggest you to use these three months wisely and let her live as happy as she can. Let save her kidney for the pain killer which she will need the most in the future when the pain becomes unbearable."

"Are you asking me to give up? Are you asking me to let her die without doing anything to prevent it? Just because you're a doctor, you thought you can play with life and death like God?" I snapped and yelled at him.

"Calm down Jeong-ah." Il Hyun grabbed my arm and put a gentle squeezed to calm me down.

"No!" I pulled my arm harshly from his grasp. "You don't want to try because you're afraid if you can't heal her, it will only damage your own reputation as the greatest doctor in this country and it will destroy your hospital's name."

He rolled his eyes at my accusation. Without taking his eyes from me, he slowly stood up and reached my level. "Is that what you think of me? Am I so ruthless in your eyes? For heaven sake Yi Jeong what you want me to do?!" His angry voice roared inside the room and to show his frustration, he slammed his hand on the table without breaking his eye contact with me. He's very angry, we both are but no one wanted to retreat and he continued to yell at me.

"You want me to cut her head and remove her tumour along with a fraction of her brain and let her breathing although she won't wake up anymore huh? You want me to amputate her limbs because the cancerous cells already spread to her bone? You want me to infuse more drugs and damage her kidney and let her depends on dialysis machine for the rest of her short life and wait for the cancer to reappear again? I can do that but I won't because…she's my sister too and I love her and I don't want her to suffer anymore!"

"I'm asking you not to give up!" I heard him clearly but I'm too stubborn to accept it.

"I'm not giving up! Why don't you want to understand?"

"GUYS!" The oldest So finally roared to intervene our argument and both me and Il Hyun immediately shut our mouth. No matter how old we grow, our father's high voice still affected us and made us lost our guts. Before he continued to speak, the door abruptly opened and Yul Jin came running to us while tried to catch his breath.

"Omma…omma is waking up but, she's emotionally unstable. Noona and halmoni tried to calm her but…"

Without hearing the rest of his words, I sped as fast as I can to Ga Eul's room.

She was crying while struggling to get free from Ye Eun grasp who tried to calm her down on her bed. "Omma, it's okay. It was just a ceremony. It's not that I can't get my degree just because I don't attend the graduation ceremony."

"NO, it is not okay! You study so hard for four years just for this day. You should walk proudly at the stage and took the scroll from your vice chancellor but your pathetic mother destroys your dream again. I'm such a burden for everyone and I just want it to stop!" It touched my heart when I heard her cries.

"Omma…you are not a burden to us."

"Just let me die!" She suddenly shrieked and tried to step down from her bed.

The moment I heard it, the angriness I had with Il Hyun came back to me but now it was Ga Eul who made me mad. Why everyone wanted to give up? First Il Hyun and now her! I lost my patient again and pulled Ye Eun aside so I can be at her place. Ga Eul managed to sit on her bed but before she put her foots on the floor, I grabbed her shoulders and forcefully slammed her back to her bed.

I heard voices gasped at my action but I don't care. For some unknown reason, something inside me triggered when I heard her wish to die. How dare she give up on me! How dare she wish to leave me! I've been there with her patiently but this is how she's going to repay me?

I clutched her shoulders tightly and push her further until her body sunk into the fluffy mattress while she still struggling to get free. "Look at me." But she kept on struggling. "I said look at me!" I yelled at her face while shaking her body. She let out a soft cry of pain but she still didn't want to look at me. "Listen to me, I won't let you die. No matter what happen I won't let you die you hear me!"

"It hurt Jeong-ah." She cried but I chose not to listen.

"Why are you so weak now? WHY? You survive before and you will survive again and again!"

"It hurt Jeong-ah." She pleaded again.

Suddenly a pair of hand grabbed my waist and pulled me from Ga Eul, and then he pushed me away. I almost fell on the floor but I managed to keep my balance. When I looked up, I saw Tae Goon looking hatefully at me. If looks can kill, I'm sure I'll be dead by now. "You're hurting omma." He clenched his fist and I'm sure he wanted to punch me but he immediately turned his body and went to Ga Eul. He embraced Ga Eul in his arms and gently rocked her body. "It's okay omma, I'm here and I'm not going anywhere."

I scanned around the room and realised what had I done. Ye Eun tried to calm her grandmother and she's crying too. Maybe they were surprised by my roughness. Yul Jin looking at me in unreadable expression while Il Hyun glared at me. In a second, I think I became a villain in their eyes.

It suffocated me even when I loosen my tie. I wanted to stay but I felt like I'm not welcome in this room. I slowly exited the room and just followed where my foot took me to. I climbed the stairs until there was no more stairs to climb and in the end I found myself on top of the building. There was a bench near the edge of the building and it seemed like the greatest place to enjoy the sunset. I sat there for a while, refused to think of anything and just watched the view with a blank mind. The spring breeze blows to my body and it made me shivered and I automatically wrapped my hands around my body to warm myself. Guess I had left my coat somewhere.

"An old man like you shouldn't stay outside with just a thin shirt." I smiled when I heard the voice behind me but I kept my eyes in front. Even without looking back, I perfectly knew the owner of that voice. I felt a coat was draped on my shoulders and it made me look up and saw him put his coat on me.

"I guess you are fresh and strong enough to stand the chill young man." I mock at him and he just smirk at me and took a seat beside me. We stayed quiet for a while and watched the sun slowly descending to the ground. "Are you mad at me?" I break the silent.

"Not as much as Tae Goonie. You know how much he adores omma."

"So you hate me." I sighed. "I should get a punch by Tae Goonie."

"He wouldn't punch you appa. He loves you as much as he hates you." We both smile at the irony of that fact.

"I still remember when he was a baby. He loves to stare at your mother. When she cooed him, when she kissed him, when she bathed him, when she dressed him and when she fed him, his tiny eyes never leave your mother. When he was eight, when your mother received her chemotherapy, he always sneaked into my car to follow me to the hospital. When I told him he can't go near his mother, he just nodded his head and watch her from far…just stared…from behind the glass wall he stared and stared until he fell asleep on the chair."

"He sounds exactly like you appa."

"It's the wonder of heredity." My lips curled up smugly. "Look at you, whenever I look at you I saw myself 30 years ago. You look exactly like me Yul-ah but inside" I poked at his chest a few times "you are exactly like your mother."

"I guess so." He paused for a while and then he look at me. I saw his mouth open and then close and I knew he was contemplated to continue his next words.

"Hey, is there something you want to talk to me. Go ahead if you want to scold me, I know what I did was wrong and I deserve your wrath."

"Omma is not weak." He started while I listen carefully. "She should be weak but she never surrendered to her weaknesses. I can't remember about the accident 15 years ago but I do remember how she forced herself to cope with her disabilities. Every time after she was discharged from the hospital, she will come to us and apologised for not being there with us as normal mother would do. I caught her crying by herself a few times; maybe she just wanted to let out her frustration."

"She never told me before. How can I know about her frustration?" I sighed.

"Because you never let her." Yul Jin voice out slowly.

I was shocked by his accusation and glared at him with hurtful eyes. "I always by her side and I always listen to her! Why are you saying that I never let her discuss it with me?"

"How can she express her frustration to a person more miserable than her? You are not the one who's in pain but you look more 'hurt' than her. You're always by her side telling her to stay strong and pressured her to live because you always said that you cannot live without her. With her condition, it's normal to give up and felt frustrated but not once she snaps like what happen today because she was force to be strong for her weak husband."

One by one, Yul Jin's words strike me. He said it so gently like he was afraid that the truth can hurt me but no matter how gentle his tone is, it still felt like a dagger stabbing through my heart again and again.

"Did she tell you that? That…that I am weak?" I asked him dejectedly.

"No, it's just my observation and I understand her because like you said, I'm exactly like her and because of that also, I can understand you, like omma did. That's why I never blamed you because you love her too much."

"Is it wrong to love someone too much?"

"When you're holding an egg on your palm, it won't drop as long as you hold it just nicely without using too much force. But if you started to hold it tightly and give too much pressure, eventually the shell will break on your palm and there's nothing you can do to save the egg once it break."

I stared at my 19-year-old boy (no not a boy anymore because he's a matured man now) and I felt ashamed because I was the one who supposed to comfort him not the other way round.

"I don't think I can 'free' her Yul-ah."

"Halmoni told me that omma supposed to die in that accident because she was badly injured but you never lost your hope and always prayed for her to live. Miraculously she survived. Then she had cancer and you prayed again and she survived again. You always got what you wish for and now you become greedy. You want to pray again and want her to survive again but everything have limit."

"Don't you love your mother? Do you want her die?"

"Of course I love her so much. So much that I don't want her to suffer anymore. So much that I cannot bear to see her in pain again. So much that I'm willing to let her go. And you should do the same if you really love her. Il Hyun-samchon told us about omma's condition and the time left for her. Why don't we use this precious time wisely and make her happy before she left us. Don't worry appa, you'll never be alone. You have me, noona and Tae Goonie and we will take care of you like how you care for us."

I can't deny the truth in his words. After that I went back to Ga Eul's room and begging for her forgiveness. I asked her what she wants and she said she just tired and wanted to 'rest'. I don't want to force her anymore and let her do what she wanted.

The next day Ga Eul was discharged from the hospital and Il Hyun only prescribed morphine for her pain relief. He stopped other medications because there was no use to treat her anymore as she was sent home to die.


	7. Death (part II)

Part II

Four months had passed by and her health slowly deteriorated. We did everything we can to make her happy. Ye Eun decided to postpone her job search and remained as unemployed graduate to be with her mother all time. I think she didn't care much about the job because her main mission is to marry her doctor-boyfriend which she met while accompanied her mother to do her check-up. The man is seven years older than her and she met him when she was 17-year-old while he just started his first year of housemanship. I didn't mind about the age gape as long as she happy with the love of her life.

One day Ga Eul woke me up early in the morning. I abruptly rose to sit and saw her sitting beside me. "What's wrong chagiya, are you in pain? Do you want a pain relief?" Worried was evident in my voice. In fact I worried about her all the time. Always I woke up in the middle of night just to make sure she still breathing.

"Let's go to the market!" She happily said to me. Her eyes were glittered in anticipation.

"HUH?"

"Come on Jeong-ah, move your heavy butt and wake up from the bed now! We need to hurry to buy the ingredients so I can have enough time to cook for breakfast." She pulled my hand and forced me to stand up. Then she pushed me to the bathroom and asked me to take a bath as fast as I can.

It's still early in the morning and most people were still sleeping at this hour especially because it was a Sunday morning. When I finished my bath, Ga Eul immediately dressed me and linked her hand to mine and pulled me excitedly to the door. We met Tae Goon halfway at stairs with a sandwich in his hand, maybe he wanted to go back to his room after he took the food from the kitchen downstairs.

"Tae Goonie! My cute little baby, you wake up early!" Ga Eul happily greeted him.

Tae Goon looked at Ga Eul with shocked and then he looked at me but I just shrugged my shoulders. "I…I'm hungry so I went to the kitchen to eat. Where are you going?"

"Oh my teenage little boy is growing up that's why you're always hungry!" She hurriedly descending the stairs and rubbed his tummy. "I guess you're full now so change your cloth and followed us to the market."

"Why?"

"Just go baby, we will wait for you. Hurry!" Ga Eul slapped his butt a few times and pushed him to move.

In the end, Tae Goon and I were dragged to the wet market and she bought many fresh foods like seafood, red meat and variety of vegetables.

"Now I know why you want to bring me along omma, you want me to carry all these stuff right? Are you planning to cook for a month?"

"It's been a while since I cook for you guys and I know you love my cook baby so shut up and help me and appa carried these stuffs."

Tae Goon grinned at her while licking his lips. He's 16 already but he still behaved like a kid when he's around his mother. After a while, I'm quite surprised that Ga Eul didn't complaint that she's tired because last time, she can only walk from our bedroom upstairs to the kitchen downstairs before she started hyperventilating and needed to rest for a while.

"Are you okay chagiya? Do you want to rest?"

"I'm so okay today. I never feel so much healthy like this!"

Secretly I called Il Hyun because I still doubt about her 'healthy' state. I can't help to think maybe a miracle had happen to her and heal all her sickness. I told Il Hyun about what happen but he remained silent for quite long;

"Hyung are you still there? Am I right? Ga Eul seems so healthy today! Do I need to bring her to you for a check-up?"

"NO! No need Jeong-ah. Just spend your time with her."

"Why are you sound so sad hyung? Ga Eul is healthy again so you should be happy right?"

"Jeong-ah, there's this condition that I as a doctor still cannot explain until today. I saw many cases like a patient who fell from 10 storey building that seriously injured and unconscious for days, suddenly woke up and having a conversation with her family; or a heart problem kid who too weak to walk to the bathroom suddenly felt healthy and managed to spend his time in the amusement park with his parents. These patients have the same ending, they died. It's like they were given some times before they go forever."

"You mean…"

"I don't know, I'm not God. But just prepare for all the possibilities okay. Just spend your time with her and pretend that she never sick. Let her do what she wants."

I don't know what to do. My foots were rooted to the ground and I can't move. My cell phone was still close to my ear although Il Hyun already hung up a few moments ago. In front of me, I saw a healthy Ga Eul wrapping her arm around Tae Goon's neck and dragged him from stall to stall. They were very happy together.

Can I trust Il Hyun? When she evidently healthy in front of me. Am I seeing a ghost? No it can't be because Tae Goon also can see her.

I was brought back to reality when I heard Ga Eul calling me. She waved her hand eagerly, signalling me to go to them because I was left too far behind. I blink back the tears that threaten to fall from my eyes and started running towards them. I chose to trust my own brother and I will follow his advised and pretend that she is really healthy. Just for today, she is the same Ga Eul who dragged me to the market every weekend; she is the same Ga Eul that strong enough to cook many dishes for our family and she is still the same Ga Eul who had the most beautiful smile I ever see.

_Damn, why suddenly it was hard to control my tears! Please Yi Jeong, don't cry in front of her. Please don't destroy her happy moment. _

It was like a feast that day. From breakfast to lunch and then dinner, Ga Eul cooked so many dishes with the help from Ye Eun and her mother. She packed all the leftover into plastic containers and bragged that the foods can last for a week so we all can still taste her cook for a week more.

_Did she know that her time is near? That's why she cooks a lot of food for us. _

After dinner we all gathered in the living room and watching a movie together. Ga Eul chose to watch the hilarious 'Clue' (her all-time favourite movie) and we all laughing the whole time. Exhaustion was clearly visible on Ga Eul's face when the movie ended. I had to force her to rest in our bedroom because she wanted to see another movie.

With pouted lips, she slowly retreated to our room and asked her mother to come with her alone. A few minutes later her mother called Ye Eun to see Ga Eul, then Ye Eun called Yul Jin and Yul Jin called Tae Goon. Ga Eul met them one by one and said something to them that make them sad. Finally Tae Goon came to me with wet eyes saying that Ga Eul wanted to rest and asked me to accompany her.

"Hey sweetie, are you okay? Are you in pain? You don't take your pain relief at all today so do you want to take it now?"

"I'm fine beside, pain relief will only make me unconscious for a long time. It's a waste of time because I can't see you and talk to you. Jeong-ah, I'm not comfortable to sleep with this cloth; can you change it for me?"

"Of course my queen, it is my pleasure." I retrieved her night gown from the closet and changed her cloth.

I realised she was staring at me while I'm buttoning her night gown. "Is there something on my face?" I asked her when I finished the button. I rubbed my face to search for a foreign material that was not supposed to be there.

She just giggled at my question. "Yes, there is something on your face." She cupped my cheeks with her hands and brought my face closer to her and analysed it in detail. "There are these two holes that have a very beautiful black and white marbles in it" she kissed both my eyes "there is this sharp thing that weirdly pointed out from your face" she kissed my nose "and what is this soft and red thing?" she looked at my lips and kissed it slowly. "Ahh, it tastes like a marshmallow."

"Okay whatever, you need to rest." I pushed her gently to the bed and I join her after I switch off the light. She immediately wrapped her arms around my body and rested her head on my chest.

"I can't sleep Jeong-ah. Talk to me please."

"Can I ask you something? Ermm what did you said to your mother and our children?"

"I asked for forgiveness from omma, for all the problems I caused her. I said sorry to Ye Eun because I can't help her choosing her wedding dress and I can't guide her to be a good wife and a good mother. To Yul Jin, I said that he is my hope to take care of you and Tae Goonie. And Tae Goonie, I just asked him to listen to you. I'm very worried about Tae Goonie Jeong-ah."

"He will be fine."

"He's 16, it's a dangerous age. He's in transition to become an adult. Part of him is still a child and he needs full guidance from his parents. I won't be there when he really needs me. I'm afraid if he chooses a wrong path then his entire life will be ruin forever." Actually I hated to talk about this topic. I hate to be reminded about our future life without her but I had to accept the reality.

"You don't need to worry. Although he only listens to you, he stills a good boy. Besides, he loves me as much as he hates me and I love him too. I believe that we will be good. I promise you I won't neglect him and I'm sure Ye Eun and Yul Jin will help me."

There was a moment of paused from her and I felt her body shivering a little bit. I touch her forehead and it was cold. "Are you cold chagiya?"

"Yes, a little." She answered softly. I pushed her gently to the side and rose to take the blanket under our foot and wrapped her body with the blanket. It was weird to feel cold during the summer night as my body was sticky with sweat because of the hotness and I started to feel worried about her.

"Are you sure you are okay?"

"Like I said, I never felt so much healthy like today." And she laid her head again on my chest when I lying beside her. "Jeong-ah." She called me, and I realised the whole day she kept calling my name and no more 'yobo' anymore.

"Yes chagiya."

"I want to tell you a secret. You know how my appa died right?" I nodded my head. "I…was supposed to be in that car too."

"What?"

"I was very close with appa and he treated me like a princess. We were inseparable. On that fateful day, appa finally agreed to bring me with him to his workplace and agreed to let me skip my classes as long as I kept my promise not telling omma. But I was so excited and blurted it out in front of omma so she scolded appa and me and forced me to go to school."

I heard a long sigh from her and waited for her to continue;

"I was mad at omma for not letting me go with appa and she asked me if I really wanted to leave her alone in this world which of course made me realised, I should be grateful that I'm still alive. So at that time, I think the purpose for me to skip death was because of omma and we never talk about that accident again. Then because of this incident, I met you. You are my everything Jeong-ah. You and our children added the reason for me to keep on living."

"But you still need to go." I huskily said.

"Everyone is going to die but not everyone is going to live. I skip death too many times. I'm considered lucky because I live happily for 48 years. That's a long time to breathe. We've been married for 25 years, that's a long time too."

"It's still not enough for me."

"Then tell me when is enough? No one have the answer because we humans are greedy. You're comparing us with your parents, that's why you said it's not enough. If you're comparing us with my parents than you will realise that our time together is more than enough."

Her words made me speechless as I started to realise the truth in her words. I should be grateful, I should appreciated the 25 years of being her husband and stop halting her from move on. At least I've experiencing a great love with her. I keep counting and waiting for more seconds to be with her that I forgot about the years I have spent with her and I had to admit that I am so freaking greedy.

I was brought back to reality when I felt her body trembling uncontrollably.

"Chagiya, let's go to the hospital, okay."

"NO!"

"Let me take another blanket okay." I wanted to move but she held my body.

"Please stay. Just hold me tightly." My body froze when it occurred to me that maybe she sensed that her time is nearing. Ga Eul realised that I lied rigidly on our bed; "Please" she pleaded again and I wrapped my hands around her body and my legs also wrapped around her. I locked her tightly close to my body in an attempt to give my body heat to her but the trembling didn't stop.

"Jeong-ah…Jeong-ah…" She called me a few times and I sensed fear in her voice. It's like she can't feel me anymore although I embraced her as tight as I can. I gave her an assurance that I still there with her.

"I'm here chagiya."

"Thank you…for everything. I have no regret at all. I love you."

"I love you too, so much my love."

"Jeong-ah, can I go…now…" It was a simple request but I bite my lips from saying anything. "Jeong-ah…" I heard her called me again. Her breathing was loud and shallower as if she was forcing herself to inhale the air. A few dropped of tears started to fall from my eyes. I don't want to lose her but I also don't want to let her suffered anymore.

With a heavy heart I finally said the magic word "Yes."

After a long last breath, suddenly everything stopped. As if I had push the 'off' button. No more trembling body and no more loud breathing. No matter how tight I embraced her, she remains static and no more response from her.

And I knew she was gone forever although she still safely enclosed by my body. I cried my heart out. I cried and cried like a kid and I wanted so badly to follow her but I can't because I had to stay strong for my children.

With a last long kissed on her lips, I sent her away. "Goodbye Ga Eul-ah, I will come to you for sure. Just wait for me arasso."

For some unknown reason, I felt the beating of my heart also stop on that day…

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_The End_


End file.
